9/19/10
Sermons, Part II, Chapter 10
I am standing naked at the front of the Lord. He sees me. I accept His glance that washes my mind and body. I came to be enjoyed by Him. I have nothing against this. Now my mind is not searching for defects in others. I hope this will last at least few seconds or three, then I will be happy. I will stand at the vast shore of this devastating ocean of life patiently waiting for a boat sent from the other side by those great white souls. They are my hope and teachers. I am nothing. I no longer fear. That is my dream.
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There are two thoughts I really like. The first is on pg 189 where SGM states " We should feel, "I have done something wrong, so this is coming to control me and to exact the reaction for my offenses". The second is on pg 194 where SGM states "So, one must be very careful not to make any remark generally about the practices and activities of another Vaisnava".The first statement is so important because everyday we want to blame others for our misdeeds and misfortunes, assuming the position of victim, discarding accountability. Hell exists for us when we ignore accountability. My experience is that when I can assume blame in an unpleasant situation peace still comes, but when I fight the environment only agitation exists.The second statement is basically about minding our own business. We have got so many faults that to waste time focusing on problems of others is to ignore our own, so what progress can be made. Best case scenario we are wasting our time. Worst case scenario we are causing vaisnava-aparadha. Both cases are damaging.
ReplyDeleteEssential points "discarding accountability" and "best case scenario we are wasting our time". Well taken.
ReplyDeleteSrila Guru Maharaj is perfect, and those are the hard ones to practice. "In perfect vision, we are not to quarrel with the environment"(...) That is the highest. Always thinking that "Not even a straw can move without the Supreme Will" is our 24/7 meditation. But how to keep it always fresh so it won't become a dry dogma before we become automatic zombies? "We should feel 'Cent per cent I shall engage my attention to correct myself. My responsibility is there. My main responsibility is to correct myself.' 'Physician cure thyself.' That should be the principle of any bona fide student of this Krishna Consciousness. That is the positive side."
What comes to my speculative mind is that Srila Guru Maharaj always preaches about our negative position in regards to be able to attract the Absolute Positive, as to find our lowest point from where we see our lack of any qualification to rich Him and also surrender in humility as a finite unit, to be enjoyed. Now the practice to attain that negative position is through positive process of correcting our selves, meaning seeing good in others and around us despite apparent disturbances and imperfections. We are in good hands by this process and process itself advises us to think we are in good hands. "..., the Absolute has got no vindictive nature to punish me, but His dealings are only for my correction." Guru Maharaj gives an example of mother who punishes a child with the good will.
But all our practice is through service. Without service we cannot practice all these things. "I have come here to serve, and not to enjoy the scenery." And that seva should not be merely by duty. It has to be with affection. In his will Srila BS Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj writes (par) "Every one should serve BN Acharyya Maharaj. Some are already doing that but it i not proper. The service must be with affection."
So, we are in good hands as long as we stay in line with our Guru Varga.
Yes, we are told that service is our path for progress. Affection is service. Is service an action? No. Service is an intention that may have an associated action component. There is a saying "intention leads attention". This is a fundamental point. Real service is not easy. We are seeing now just how difficult it is. The simple directive from Srila Gurudev that we should serve Srila Acharyya Maharaj is not being digested by many, including senior devotees. I write this after speaking with BV Nyasi and learning things that clearly illucidate just how difficult it can be for people to check their ego at the door. When we exhibit affection there is no consideration of "I", rather only consideration of "you". Well "I" am the acharyya of this region and "I" am the acharyya of the region, all the while ignoring the bigger point. Here is a quote from Srila Gurudev's last will and testament.
ReplyDelete"There are three already established Trust Boards, one is Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math, the second is Sree Chaitanya Saraswata Krishnanushilana Sangha and the other one is Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math and Mission. These three are separate, but they will be under the control of one Sevaite and Acharya. If anyone wishes to give initiation outside Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math, they can do that, but will be considered an outsider from Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math. There will be one single Acharya, Sevaite and President of Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math. That will be Sri Bhakti Nirmal Acharyya, because he has been rendering service, taking all trouble and responsibility upon himself. No one else will be entitled to do the same".
Very clear, isn't it?
Yes it is indeed. I realized that Srila Gurudeva has set us up for good in his loving hands through his establishments in his will. I was also observing my mind while in India and saw hesitation to offer that heartfelt respect. And I was immediately corrected and put to shame when I saw Goswami Maharaj, Ydamayu Prabhu, Janardan Maharaj, Akinchan Maharaj and many other senior vaishnavas showing their obedience and attention to Srila BN Acharyya Maharaj in a moment, as if it was Srila Govinda Maharaj himself. It blew my mind and thought me a lesson. Since then I have heard varied stories and gossips which only help me to ground my faith.
ReplyDeleteRe "affection is service" that is perhaps your understanding, when you take service in an absolute sense. But we live in a relative circumstances and our service is never one sided. But even if you insist to equate affection and service then you must accept the fact that not every one has the same level of affection so you would have to re-define the standard of service again. Bhagavatam 3rd canto, in teaching of Kapila Deva, talks about devision of devotional service in extend. That's why Srila Gurudeva said that 'some are already serving Acharyya Maharaj but in a formal way. This is incorrect. Service to him must be with affection'. The fact is that service can be without affection if done in a matter of duty. That is also service - no apparent remuneration is involved. But when you are asked to use affection then it becomes more thoughtful and directed. You are right ; not "I" but "you". Unavoidably it must end with some loving exchange. It is good for the servant and for the served one. Love is good for all. Even Krishna is running after it. It is our ultimate goal. Affection, love, charm and beauty are attributes of bhakti. But they are not in equal level in all devotees. There is element of compassion that helps us to be accommodated within the Lord's mercy. If not for this no one will have a chance to make any progress. There will be only absolute ideal and imperfect state. Nothing in between.
I have thought that acts carried out as duty are just that, duty. That is no discount of the value of duty. But, service is higher than duty. SGM speaks in this chapter of a positive side and a negative side. Both are helpful for one in search of progress. Perhaps simple duty (no affection transfer) can be considered the negative side of progress and service (affection transfer) can be considered the positive side of progress. Of course the highest ideal is the positive side, but the negative side can still help with one's progress, as you have rightly pointed out. This Vaisnava path has been described so many times by Srila Govinda Maharaj as a "heart transaction". If this is true, and service is our path to progress, than affection must be a component.
ReplyDeleteYes. It is true, I am simply stressing the fact that there exist an over ruling factor "mercy". The amount of affection is not a factor. However, who would set for the lowest if he targets the highest. But this is another topic.
ReplyDeleteAs far as I understood, the process is positive in seeing good every where and in everyone but our target position (aspiration) is negative, humble, slave. "marobi rakhobi - jo icha tohara" slay me or protect me - do it as you wish.
Thank you Prema. It really helps me to sort out some haziness.
ReplyDeleteThere was a devotee who came to stay in India for some time. He was collecting in Kolkata every day. He use to go out and come back with money that he was giving to Gurudev. He would open the door dash the money on the Gurudev's table and say "Here!" and then leave. Sruta Srava Prabhu was in the room every day seeing this. One time he pointed it out: "Śrila Gurudeva, does not it bother you? I can fix him," to which he said: "I am his servant, he is serving Srila Guru Maharaj." (par.)
ReplyDeleteSo my question is what is affection and which side is it coming from?
Perhaps that devotee had great affection but was embarrassed to receive any praise from Gurudev. Who is to say? There is no question that affection is coming down to us from pure vaisnava's (hence them being pure). But what of our interactions between one another? That requires adjustment on our part, don't you think?
ReplyDelete