Sermons, Part II, Chapter 11.

What I know is nothing. What He knows is everything. 
If this is the case then what is the chance to know Him? By chance.

My greatest obstacle is to always refer to my experience and knowledge of which I am so proud. "I know I have been around long enough to have some say to consult others...I am a preacher." The fact of the matter is that to know something about something and to know the thing are two different things. Śrila Govinda Maharaj used to say "everyone thinks he is a teacher, but not every one is."

Here Śrila Guru Maharaj mentioned Rupa Goswami's śloka: kleśagni śubhada moksa laghuta krit, sudurlabha.... in our devotional journey to the land of service we will experience removal of disturbances from inside and manifestation of auspiciousness around, then sense of liberation will easily appear on the horizon like a hope but actually it will be so insignificant against the prospect of devotion to Śri Krishna. And then we will realize that it is very difficult to achieve, almost unattainable. But subhada viśesaatma,"if some how we have a chance to get in connection with that supreme reality, we will find some fundamental awakenment that infinite happiness is approaching us."

Let me repeat - 'a chance'. So we are hoping for that chance. Our all life is focused on that chance which may or may not come. The Grace. We will sacrify all our life for that unknown Infinite Affection of the Autocrat. We are still to understand the nature of that independent Grace.  But we will never stop because śri krisna kaśinicha sah -  "He is embodiment of all types of ecstasy." Then if we properly proceed further "He will come to us in the conception of Krishna consciousness."

Have I realized the magnitude of this process yet? If I did I can start diving deep in to reality, thinking out of the box beyond time, space & any dimension.

Sermons, Part II, Chapter 10

I am standing naked at the front of the Lord. He sees me. I accept His glance that washes my mind and body. I came to be enjoyed by Him. I have nothing against this. Now my mind is not searching for defects in others. I hope this will last at least few seconds or three, then I will be happy. I will stand at the vast shore of this  devastating ocean of life patiently waiting for a boat sent from the other side by those great white souls. They are my hope and teachers. I am nothing. I no longer fear. That is my dream.